Bitter, Better, Bitter, Better

I'm having mixed emotions right now. I know that I love what I'm doing right now but it's super hard!!! The last time that I felt so stupid was back back in college during our thesis days (4 years ago)... and lately again. I'm a fighter and I don't easily give up but what's happening lately is really really devastating. It seems that my efforts are not enough. I felt so stupid. Tsk tsk... a nobody. =(

To top it all, I hate isolation or being left out. It makes me feel so weak... so depressed. I don't want eating alone... I don't want going to the movies and having to envy couples... I don't want waking up in the morning incomplete... I don't want sleeping at night without someone caring if I would still live the next day... I'm missing all of my friends badly huhuhuh.

I need someone who cares... I need someone who is not strong enough to let me go... =(


I'm still thankful though, God loves me so much. With everything that is happening right now, I'm glad that the Almighty is always here with me.

Everything happens for a reason...