Podcast Episode 4: How to Handle Rejection

TRANSCRIPT: How to Handle Rejection 

Intro: In this episode, I discussed the types of rejection we usually encounter and how to handle them.

Hello Darings, welcome back to Deyyyyrrr Gaming and Podcast!

Today's topic is How to Handle Rejection. I know, we have all the feelings this February (the Love Month) whether we like it or not. This topic came to me one early morning while I was still sleepy but writing this and completing the whole episode took a while maybe because this is very close to home. It is a bullseye and hit a lot of nerves.

At one point in our lives, we have been rejected once or twice. If you're lucky, probably more than that. Why lucky and not unlucky? Because now, you have those unforgettable memories ingrained in your soul. Hopefully, you can still remember the lessons that came with it.

Rejection in Gaming

Of course, we have this part since this is Deyyyyrrr Gaming and Podcast. I’m wondering if I ever experience rejection in terms of gaming. Maybe, sometimes I play coop or multiplayer games, but I don’t have anyone to play it with hahaha. Before, I played with my gaming team – Area063 and it was fun. But now, we have different schedules and priorities in life, that is why I couldn’t play games with them recently. With that, I feel a bit alone when gaming, not that it is an outright rejection or refusal but sometimes, it feels like it too. I am an introvert even when playing so most of the time I’m in single-player mode but of course, there are times when it would be nice to have your friends or your group there too. It is definitely more fun.

How can we handle it?  For me, I just share the code for coop or multiplayer games. I share my tag or invite codes too. I welcome the opportunity if they want to join. Or I check other online gamers who do this too. You can search for the game, and you will see lots of players who are also looking for other players in that game, especially trending or newly released games. I like the Genshin Impact community because they are very welcoming and interactive too.

Rejection in love

This is one of the types of rejection that is hard to overcome. For some, it can be just a phase, a wind passing by. For some, it can be a lifetime of regret and longing.

Contrary to popular belief, women get rejected too. Usually, it is not a straightforward rejection, it lingers for a while.

There might be someone in the tiny dark corner of your heart that you cannot move on from. He/She may like you and you've shared wonderful moments too. He/She just doesn't dare to take it to the next level and claim that love. This is the kind of rejection that you must realize. It is not spoken but felt. It is not loud, but it is deafening. It is not an outright slap but a wave of tiny prickles in your heart that goes on forever. You will just wake up one day too and you will claim that rejection. Because sometimes some love is not just enough. Some love is not great and doesn't have a happy ever after. 

How can we handle it?  Acceptance is the key, and you can try to move on. Try is the keyword because let’s accept it, even if we wanted to, it is not as easy as it seems. It will take time, maybe for some, it will take a long time. After some time, when you are ready, you can finally move on. For some, they continue to love knowing that even if it is not returned, they are contented with just loving even from a distance.

With this, I like to share one of my favorite quotes, “Love like you have never loved before.” This is from the song Love Like You in the animated series Steven Universe but I mostly remember this from my favorite 2005 kdrama My Name Is Kim Sam-soon. Mostly, it means to never be afraid of loving and be strong enough to experience it like you have never experienced it before. I like this mindset.

Rejection in friendship

It never occurred to me that I would have to go through this when I’m an adult already. 

When we were young, we may have rejected some friends or playmates too. We are still trying to navigate life and our own identity. Knowing the kind of friends or groups we want to be associated with can be tedious and there’s a lot of pressure that comes with it. We may want to be one of the cool kids, or the smart ones, or be part of those who strive for something – humanity, excellence, sustainability, and so on. We find our way to ourselves and the people we want to be with.

Rejection in friendship as an adult is more complicated than when we were younger. Before we accept it as part of growing up, but as we mature, the situation changes too. We tend to forget the people we shared laughter and tears with. Maybe because of the things that we are dealing with too like family, finances, work, and health concerns. The list goes on. Then we looked back and completely forgot that one friend who stood with us through the storms. This is hard.

How can we handle it?  Reminisce and reconnect. If that friend is a true one, no matter what, you can survive this. If he/she lets you down when you need that friend, try to understand. You can set a limit if you want, but I believe that friendship also requires mutual respect. If the other person doesn’t value that, then you know where you stand.

Rejection in family

This is also one of the hardest struggles in life. Sometimes the people we think will accept us for who we are like our family, can also be the ones who will turn their back on us. We might be wrong, but they might also be wrong and misunderstand us.  This can also become bigger and grow out of proportion. Some misunderstandings last for a lifetime too, which is very sad. Also, pride can get in the way. 

How can we handle it?  Open communication can be hard if we do not keep an open mind. If they are not willing to listen to what you have to say, give it time. Both parties concerned need to have breathing space and time away from each other to discern and understand what happened. At the end of the day, you are still part of the same family, so you need to work it out. A lifetime of grudges and misunderstandings is not a peaceful way to go through life.

Rejection at work 

This happens a lot, I think. Missed promotion, no salary increases, unsuccessful job interviews, failed projects, office politics, difficult boss or colleagues. It feels like it is never-ending. No wonder there are lots of TV shows and movies that revolve around this topic. It may be juicy, sometimes a disaster but sometimes entertaining too.

How can we handle it? Focus on your goal(s). Wanna get that job or be promoted, maybe a salary increase? Study hard and work on improving yourself. Sometimes you may be applying for the wrong post or the wrong company, research carefully. You will get it when it is meant for you, but it doesn’t mean that you procrastinate. This applies to failed projects too, research, research, research. You can also find a mentor willing to share their experience and expertise.

It is tiring to handle office politics, difficult bosses or colleagues as well. Just remember why you are working. You are there to earn money and maybe build your expertise. You are not there to make friends. Most of the time, your coworkers are not your friends but your competition. That doesn't mean you cannot go along with them, work on your social skills. It is essential in the workplace, even introverts work on being more outgoing in the office. Participate in company events like outreach, outings, sportsfest, or holiday parties. Those are great opportunities to build your camaraderie with them.

Rejection in life

There are too many rejections in life aside from what was mentioned earlier. Too many and we only have one life so should we focus on those or on becoming stronger and learning the lessons from those storms?

How can we handle rejection in general?  Be brave, fragile heart. It is not yet over. Whatever kind of rejection you are going through, there is still tomorrow. As long as you are breathing, there is still hope. As long as you wake up each day, you have the chance for a new beginning. Your story is not over yet.

I feel like this episode is made for me so, let me share my version of a letter to me, inspired by Karin Hadadan.

To my previous self: You are a survivor. You have done so many extraordinary things from having so little. I am proud of all your accomplishments and your journey too.

To my current self: It is not over yet, it may be stormy now, but it won’t last forever. There is a rainbow after the rain. You have been brave and amazingly resilient, and I cannot be prouder of you for everything that you are. You may be an untamed flower, but you will bloom again beautifully. Just keep going.

To my future self: I'm excited to meet you and experience your wisdom. I look forward to reading the rest of the story of your life and how everything unfolds.

That's it for today's episode; I hope you can also survive rejection and just keep moving forward. I appreciate any feedback, feel free to send a message on my social media accounts.  Also, I stream on twitch.tv/deyyyrrr. I don't have a fixed schedule yet; I will post on my socials when I'm streaming, most likely MWF and the weekends. 

Okay, see you next time, Darings! Thanks!

Source: Karin Hadadan, Reddit Steven Universe

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