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I was digging with my things yesterday and I accidentally saw my journal. Aside from my online blog, I also keep different journals since high school. I love writing. It makes me feel free. It makes me explore so much and reflect with different things.
As I scan the pages of my recent journal, I then felt lost. What happened to my life? Did I make it better or have I chosen the right decisions to make my life worth living? I got so many questions. The normal me doesn’t really thought much of what my life is right now. I’m happy and I thought that it is what matters to me. But then again, I guess I have to do some reflections.
I kept journals written in Alibata and some codes, Tagalog, English and a bit of French. It’s a bit difficult to read my Alibata journal because I only slightly remembered some of then. The codes were just teen codes we usually used when we were passing some secret letters back in high school. We love secret letters. =)
As I read my journals, I realized that some events were completely erased in my memory. I’m not good in remembering details that’s why I’m keeping a journal. And also, I can’t be a witness in a court since my memory totally sucks. Imagine me eating too many peanuts back in college just to pass my test with definitions and acronyms. Gosh!!! So, back to the memory lane, I’m surprised to reminisce some good old memories that I completely forgot. Well, some are unintentional but most of it, I intended to forget. Lol.
But then again, I recognized that without me fully accepting the events of yesterday, I will not be able to completely move on with my life. And I don’t want to have grudges with anyone nor to have unfinished business. Of course, we can’t escape it but I wanted to be peaceful as much as possible. I’m trying to understand and make myself accept that there are some things in life that are meant for us and some are not. It is inevitable.
I’m starting a project called Baliktanaw. It is a compilation of my journals. I’m now typing it and making some reflections of how the past events in my life affect my current decisions and behavior. It’s a good mental and emotional exercise for me. And besides, I wanted to remember and cherish the events in my life. And mostly, I wanted to have a better life. We all do. =)
As I scan the pages of my recent journal, I then felt lost. What happened to my life? Did I make it better or have I chosen the right decisions to make my life worth living? I got so many questions. The normal me doesn’t really thought much of what my life is right now. I’m happy and I thought that it is what matters to me. But then again, I guess I have to do some reflections.
I kept journals written in Alibata and some codes, Tagalog, English and a bit of French. It’s a bit difficult to read my Alibata journal because I only slightly remembered some of then. The codes were just teen codes we usually used when we were passing some secret letters back in high school. We love secret letters. =)
As I read my journals, I realized that some events were completely erased in my memory. I’m not good in remembering details that’s why I’m keeping a journal. And also, I can’t be a witness in a court since my memory totally sucks. Imagine me eating too many peanuts back in college just to pass my test with definitions and acronyms. Gosh!!! So, back to the memory lane, I’m surprised to reminisce some good old memories that I completely forgot. Well, some are unintentional but most of it, I intended to forget. Lol.
But then again, I recognized that without me fully accepting the events of yesterday, I will not be able to completely move on with my life. And I don’t want to have grudges with anyone nor to have unfinished business. Of course, we can’t escape it but I wanted to be peaceful as much as possible. I’m trying to understand and make myself accept that there are some things in life that are meant for us and some are not. It is inevitable.
I’m starting a project called Baliktanaw. It is a compilation of my journals. I’m now typing it and making some reflections of how the past events in my life affect my current decisions and behavior. It’s a good mental and emotional exercise for me. And besides, I wanted to remember and cherish the events in my life. And mostly, I wanted to have a better life. We all do. =)
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